skype sex and oatmeal! yummy!

spawn-taneous mommy chat
Me: "Oatmeal, instant breakfast or eggs?"
Spawn: " absolutely No skype sex, Mom and I mean it!"
Me: "WHAT?!"
Spawn: "you heard me! No skype sex! oatmeal."
Me:"So let me get the 13 year old BOY rules straight. No skype sex, no sexting, no phone sex, no dating, no hooker shoes,no clothes that make me look like i am 50 trying to 25 (no booty shorts,no sports bras,no short skirts,no low tops)......have I left ANY thing out from the last 6 months..tell me now-i am making a list."
Spawn: "NO more tats! No tanning bed. Act your age! No more calling me Spawn on fb or in your blog!"
Me: "Perhaps we should back up and you tell me what I can do-FOR THE SAKE of ARGUMENT" :)
Spawn: "MOM, you are like a crazy list maker-let's just check your list-this list on the counter."
Me: " ok but that is my home list. I have a work list,too and a long term/short term magic list and a car list...."
Spawn: "YOU HAVE A CAR LIST"
Me: "yes, but it just says clean out the car and wash it and I keep throwing it away when I clean out the car, so I have yet to wash it."
Spawn eye roll....what????
Spawn: " This home list is full of things that you can do! Go to the bank,do laundry, color hair....part hair in the middle...."
Me:" That's just a wild hair thought-hahahhaaha-i have always parted my hair on the side so i wanted to remind myself to try it in the middle..hahhahahahaha"
Spawn:" That is JUST STUPID! Ride exercise bike,,good! clean the upstairs bathrooms...dejunk guest room closet, clean garage...SEE this plenty for you to do."
Me: " Ha ha-you are funny ,baby!"
Spawn: "MOM!
Me: "SON!First of all, you have NO say over what i do or don't do and I have complete say over what you do or don't. So for now --total and complete SUCK-A-RAMA for you! Second, you have the mom you have and as we all know, that kind of makes you the kid you are. So-let's do this, I will try VERY hard not to embarrass you in front of your friends
(effort,effort,effort!) and I will try very hard to let you imagine I don't have friends" ;)
Spawn" "That makes no sense."
Me:"Exactly!"
Spawn: "What?"
Me:"Oatmeal ready."
Spawn: "k"
Me:" :)

We all come to parenting, whether with our own children or those we work with, from different places. Nothing has worked better for me than just being myself. I have a witty,smart,affectionate,articulate,silly child and I think I deserve that! And when he really pissing me off-i soooo see myself in that and i deserve that too! Cause didn't ya parents say....JUST WAIT til you have kids!.... whatever.... ;)