spawn-taneous mommy chat
Me: "Oatmeal, instant breakfast or eggs?"
Spawn: " absolutely No skype sex, Mom and I mean it!"
Spawn: "you heard me! No skype sex! oatmeal."
Me:"So let me get the 13 year old BOY rules straight. No skype sex, no sexting, no phone sex, no dating, no hooker shoes,no clothes that make me look like i am 50 trying to 25 (no booty shorts,no sports bras,no short skirts,no low tops)......have I left ANY thing out from the last 6 months..tell me now-i am making a list."
Spawn: "NO more tats! No tanning bed. Act your age! No more calling me Spawn on fb or in your blog!"
Me: "Perhaps we should back up and you tell me what I can do-FOR THE SAKE of ARGUMENT" :)
Spawn: "MOM, you are like a crazy list maker-let's just check your list-this list on the counter."
Me: " ok but that is my home list. I have a work list,too and a long term/short term magic list and a car list...."
Spawn: "YOU HAVE A CAR LIST"
Me: "yes, but it just says clean out the car and wash it and I keep throwing it away when I clean out the car, so I have yet to wash it."
Spawn eye roll....what????
Spawn: " This home list is full of things that you can do! Go to the bank,do laundry, color hair....part hair in the middle...."
Me:" That's just a wild hair thought-hahahhaaha-i have always parted my hair on the side so i wanted to remind myself to try it in the middle..hahhahahahaha"
Spawn:" That is JUST STUPID! Ride exercise bike,,good! clean the upstairs bathrooms...dejunk guest room closet, clean garage...SEE this plenty for you to do."
Me: " Ha ha-you are funny ,baby!"
Me: "SON!First of all, you have NO say over what i do or don't do and I have complete say over what you do or don't. So for now --total and complete SUCK-A-RAMA for you! Second, you have the mom you have and as we all know, that kind of makes you the kid you are. So-let's do this, I will try VERY hard not to embarrass you in front of your friends
(effort,effort,effort!) and I will try very hard to let you imagine I don't have friends" ;)
Spawn" "That makes no sense."
We all come to parenting, whether with our own children or those we work with, from different places. Nothing has worked better for me than just being myself. I have a witty,smart,affectionate,articulate,silly child and I think I deserve that! And when he really pissing me off-i soooo see myself in that and i deserve that too! Cause didn't ya parents say....JUST WAIT til you have kids!.... whatever.... ;)