Tuesday, September 27, 2011

smoke and socks -part 2

Think about this for just a moment, because I have, what if today someone had to come in and GRINCH your house-your furniture, every cabinet,every drawer,every closet,every picture,every knick knack, every box,your laundry room,your attic,your dressers,your desk,your refrigerator,your plants, your bills,your 17 umbrellas, your 30 pairs of Merell shoes,your front porch,your back porch. They had to come in and take EVERYTHING down to the last nail in the wall and they had a time limit and they drove a VIBE! A VIBE which with the back seats down would only accommodate Cam Newton and one small running back-if they spooned and drew their legs up and were in street clothes-well maybe only Cam Newton. BESIDE the point-sorry-a VIBE! Well I will just tell you it would take that person and friends alot of time.AND in Becky's case she had smoked in the apartment for 6 years so everything just smelled. YAY! So 8 trips to the PTA thrift store and 50 to the dumpster. 8 vibe trips home and really good friends who drove a rented truck and picked up the big stuff! You start out being compassionate with the STUFF and you end up being ruthless because you are tired.
All those things that we think are worth saving...like every birthday card we got-guilty as charged-really don't mean alot to your Grinch-your love letters from 20 years ago.. fascinating briefly cause your Grinch does not have time to read them.
Her apartment is now living in my living room or garage. Because of her love for everything oriental, my living room looks like a tarted up geisha wanna be. I will find new homes for all that. And I found I talked to her alot when I was down there by myself mostly like,"What the phuck is up with the rubber band ball, the freezer bag obsession...etc" BUT i took home 17 lighters, 15 rolls of paper towels, 27 different boxes and sizes of zip lock bags( I am set for life on the zip lock bags and do not for one minute think I am not grateful) So I Grinch-ed Becky's home and a part of her is here.
AND then there are the neighbors....sweet baby petshop pets...i met the oddest people....

Monday, September 26, 2011

socks and smoke-part one

or why I haven't blogged in a month.
Someone's death, whether expected or sudden, a blessing or a tragedy, is always life-altering for at least one other person.
I was sitting at my desk about 6 weeks ago and I got a call. The caller ID said UNC Bookstore. That was just odd. I picked it up and said,
"This is April." in my perky voice because most people who call me I don't know are usually calling because they are PISSED-the perkiness tends to stump the toe of the rhythm of their pre-planned rant-giving my perky ass a little advantage.
"Hello, I am sorry. " the caller is breathless and her voice is shaking. " I am sorry, I don't even know how to say this."
" Take a breath." I say because I am confused.
"ok I don't know how to ask this so I will just ask. Do you know Becky *??????"
"Yes, I do. She is my cousin..well not my cousin, my dad's cousin, first cousin but i guess my second cousin but yes I know her."
"Well the police...found her dead this morning. They are looking for her next of kin. I don't know how they found me, i used to work with her. You need to call this Sargent...."
There was some more confusing conversation...she had been dead a week...her friends couldn't remember my dad's name but thought i was a social worker-looked through her facebook friends..found a social worker..called me. I was stunned...I called my dad-he called the police and went down that day to take care of things.
Becky wasn't old-she had retired from UNC the year before, she was 62.
Three years before she had asked me to come down and get her antique bedroom suit...it was beautiful. She said she was simplifying her life and didn't want anyone else to have to deal with what she had to deal with when she moved her mother out of her apartment. Another part of this story that I will tell later. Then she asked if I would be her Executor and Heir-i said yes-because it just seemed like something so far in the future, i would forget about it before it happened. And I already had.
My dad called me the next night and said they found a copy of the will and it was all mine and i said , well yes I knew that.
He said, "April, we have her portfolio, you are going to get quite bit of money."
"Yes, money. I will leave you the key to the apartment and all her financial information as we drive back tomorrow. you have a lot of work ahead of you. you need to have the apartment cleaned out by the end of September"
I came home that day from work and looked at the financial information and realized my life would be forever altered by Becky's death.
A couple days later I drove to Carrboro and thought alot on the way down (when i was not nutting up because i was on the interstate) about what Becky said about how she was going to simply her life. When I turned the key and walked in...I realized..she had not gotten around to that yet. So I haven't blogged because besides my full time job and my hands full Spawn mom-ing I have been emptying my second's cousin's apartment every single Saturday and Sunday (5 hours round trip) for a month. I have had to meet with a lawyer, engage a clerk of court to open a safe deposit box for me and get to know my cousin room by room.
And she was wonderful and she had a story and I will tell it...in the next blog