Saturday, February 4, 2012

the chalk writing arm flap and a BUTTmunchnut

SPAWN-tanous /Mommy Conversation
Spawn lying on the futon in the game room eyes glued to the TV and me standing in the doorway.
M-"Spawn, feel my arm muscle."
S-" Have you lost your mind???  That would be a no."
M-"I have been working out like a fiend for three weeks .  I want you to feel my arm muscle! Dude, at least do me the courtesy of looking at me when I am talking"
HERE IS WHAT DIDN'T HAPPEN (except inside my head)
He cut his eyes toward me and mine fell on the TV remote.  He realized it a moment to late and we both lunged for it at the same time! I came up with it cause I got the longer body!  I turn the TV off  and  after an evil laugh, I say...
M-"DO YOU KNOW how many times since you were born I have had to stop what I was doing to 'MOMMY, WATCH THIS!' feel this,fix this,find this,buy this,hug this,wash this,clean this, soothe this...make this better!  Do you know how many times I have had to feel your arm muscle after every tiny little workout session AND look at your awesome six-pack..which I think we know are just your ribs, skinny boy!  Since you are so critical of everything I do wrong..could you just support this one thing I am doing right and feel my arm muscle."
S-" I am so sorry Mommy!  I am so proud of you! (hell-since it's happening in my head -I am going to make it good!)  I will feel your arm muscle and WOW you are really working off  your 6th grade teacher's chalk writing arm flap! Way to go! Maybe you need a boyfriend to feel your arm muscle..I would totally support that!MOM-you are the best!  I don't deserve you and yet here you are!  I am truly blessed (lol) and you are so cute!"
S-"Looking at ya...not gonna feel your arm muscle."
M-" YOU are a BUTTMunchNut!"
I was thinking worse...but I did him the courtesy of not saying it! :)

Could you at least give me the common courtesy of looking at me when I am talking to you.