Thursday, November 17, 2011

Boots and Boys

Spawn-taneous and Mommy chat
S"You realize I am PATHETIC!"
S-"My whole social life is on-line playing black-ops with kids from Nebraska. I actually consider these kids to be my FRIENDS! DO you get how pathetic that is???!!!"
M"Would you like to see a therapist?"
M-"Are you a danger to yourself or others?"
S-"NO! god,MOM"
M-"Are you doing drugs, drinking, sexting, looking at porno on the computer, skipping school, bullying anyone?"
S-" NO!!!!"
M-" ok, then let me tell you this. You are not pathetic! You are temporarily in "the desert". You are a freshman boy. No one has time for your kind. You are wandering alone...with your kind all about you but not close because not even freshman boys want to hang with other freshman boys..except for the nerds -just because they are more evolved. They are hanging out together and enjoying as best they can the desert that is this year. Plus you are a freshman boy who has not yet reached puberty ( you can thank me and my family of late-bloomers later) so you are are double screwed. SO my point being-considering on-line friends your real friends is not pathetic-it's your reality just for right now and it isn't bad. And I promise things will get different and more exciting and we can all hope, better."
S-" So what you are saying i just have to endure this?"
M-" This and many more desert times in your life. And while we are talking-Flushing the toilet does NOT cause brain damage! Candy wrappers left on the floor (phuck you Halloween and your endless supply ) DO NOT reproduce candy! Pockets are meant to be TEMPORARY holders of things..gum,your braces' rubber bands and notes really DON't like being washed! Towels really don't dry on the FLOOR! AND NO-we really don't need to keep the heat at 80 degrees so you can be comfortable in SHORTS!"
S-"OMG-I will get to move out someday-right!!!!!!"
M-"We can only hope!"
S-"I love you, Mom."
M-"I love you too, ALOT and I will always try to be an oasis in your desert times but that isn't a guarantee. If you back the truck up to a green lawn and dump the sand yourself- I may send you a postcard and hope you figure it out for yourself." :)
S-" I hate that you think and act younger than you are!"
S"You should not wear boots and tights!"
S-" You should not be dating!"
M-"understand your point of view!"
S-"why aren't you arguing with me?"
M-"Cause you are freshman boy....everyone knows freshman boys are just lame!" :)
S-"Thanks, Mom!"
any time....;)

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

trying to be nice and cupping

I am a person who honestly tries to be nice. It's my nature AND you can push me once or twice and I am still smiling..nice-ing it. But there is point when I go-oh hell no. I took my car in to have the tires rotated and balanced and sat..and sat-it was 7:15 IN THE MORNING-i was the only person there. 7:45-the dude rolls a tire out-do i really know this is MY tire -NO-cause I forgot to mark it with pink finger nail polish-ding dang it! He goes down on one knee in front of me and starts talking. There is CUPPING-bad things could happen.You need 4 new tires! Your brakes are THIS close to being metal to metal-i am nodding-thinking -wtf is cupping. It doesn't sound good on any level. I like it if you can make a problem sound remotely sexual..that's just me. But cupping and metal to metal are just..boring. But then he mentions the water pump which may be leaking JUST a little AND makes me go look at it....that was my push! OH hell no AND i have to leave in an hour so if you can't do the new tires and the brakes in an hour-i will just take the brakes. OH then all of a sudden they could get it done.
I was so pissed-so pissed- at me not being able to deal with that situation knowledgeably!
I will own the cupping because I am like a curb-riding over fool. if there is a curb-my ass is driving over it-accidently! :) And the car is 4 years old-it probably needs brakes. But don't try to sell me a water pump-it's too much.
Plus the waiting room was cold! I wish..I knew more about all kinds of things..but I don't yet so I will continue to try to be nice..until pushed too far. ;)

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

WHEE as in Cullowhee :)

I am packing for my first ever vacation alone. I am going home for the first time in 10 years. That amazes me but 10 years ago my dad told me and my siblings that he was selling the farm in Cullowhee and buying a condo in Swannanoa.( ha- Swannanoa comes up as a misspelled word but the only suggestion is swanning. I seriously don't want to know what that is.) WHAT.. what? We were shell-shocked. We thought we would always have a place to come back to in Cullowhee, a place to bring our kids, so they would know Cullowhee too.( the misspelled suggestion for Cullowhee is callowness..huh)
Dad moved and I have not been back but I am so excited to be going home on my first EVER vacation alone! I am going home for the class of 1979's 50th Birthday Party! Our class is so awesome we are getting together for our collective 50th b-day!
Just so you know-I have never been to a class reunion and they have had them. Many since 1979 ..I never went..I was busy, I was broke, I was afraid. I didn't go.
But I am going to this because for the first time since I was 18, I realize these are people who mean alot to me. These are people who have known me since i was 5 (we had kindergarten through 12th grade in one building).
These are people I genuinely like!
S-"Are you taking someone to this class are, don't lie!"
M-" No I am not!"
M-"I totally intend to share really good times with my friends and just hook up there. The high school guys will be lookin fine!"
S-"MOM! You are WAY too old for them!!! I think I am going to be sick"
M-"WHAT! They are my could I be too old?"
S-" Oh phuck, I thought you were talking about real high school guys!"
I have to stop saying things just to get under Spawn's skin. It's so easy, it just seems unfair. :)
Coming home!!!!! WHEE!

Monday, November 7, 2011

winter and math

The first dark evenings of daylight saving time just depress me. It is winter's line in the sand and I despise winter like it is a racist/sexist/pajama in public wearing/ tea party zombie. I could go on but that's all the hating i got right now. I do not like the cold mornings! I do not like the cold nights! I do not like the cold days! I do not like snow or frost or slightly frosty. I do not like seeing my breath in the air. I do not like coats -although, yes i sort of do when it's COLD! I give coats a pass-just semi-hate them, like grocery shopping! :)
I am trying to stay up til 9 cause that is really 10. I went to bed at 8:30 last night cause it was really 9:30 and woke up at 4:30 which was really 5:30 and this is MATH..phucking MATH..yet another reason I hate winter. SERIOUSLY!
And this morning, as I rounded the "Lovin It" drive through..I morning, I am going to drive up and the pork and gravy biscuit will be gone! It will just happen without warning and I will be more depressed. Damn it!
On the upside-since my hormones ran out I am having quite tropical events while I try to sleep and quite frankly I love them! Although, I am finding Spawn slightly more annoying than usual and I am pretty sure I will be eating his Oreos if we get snowed in without power and he will have to open cans of cold peas..that i am not really sure why we have.
M-" I am going to have to go bed."
S-"Mom, it's 8:30!"
M-"It's really 9:30"
S-"no Mom-it's not-it's really 8:30. I am going to bed at 10-which is my bedtime.
M-"Which is really 11."
S-" MOTHER, no it's not but if you want to go to bed at 8:30, I am down with that-way more unsupervised time than I usually get!"
M-"I have things to do..staying up!" :)
phuck winter and your baby brother, fall. poohie! hate winter!