Saturday, December 18, 2010

whore's ovaries and dating-part one

So, big week! My first ever, (three month), experience on a dating website ended and i think i FINALLY learned to spell hors d'Oeures! woo hoo! The spelling of the whore's ovaries word had plagued me for YEARS and i only have to spell it 2 or 3 times a year.
Will I miss the dating website,yes and yes-lol, i meant yes and NO.
Here's my profile that i put on the old people meet old people dating site:
"A little about me...
taking a break from cleaning the gutters-who knew that was such a sweaty,nasty dirty,sweaty,dirty ass job. Although it can be done in a bikini so that's a plus. why do we need gutters-really? are they just leaf traps?? and why do we need to catch some leaves and not others. I bet it really pisses the caught gutter leaves off to see all those other leaves lying free on the ground..i managed to make it through the mowing season-although with kind of half-ass skill level..PLEASE tell me there are no more outside chores after gutter cleaning and raking leaves...if there there are, I'm not doing them..retreating to the house for the fireplace and beer : )
thanks to Dave for mentioning something about needing to put lime on the grass and as i told him-the only lime will be the one in my vodka tonic. and i am NOT aerating..cause frankly i don't know what that means!
The ONLY redeeming thing about Fall is candy corn! It is my candy CRACK. And plentiful this time of year....and it transitions from Halloween to Thanksgiving with your Brach's Harvest Mix...sweet!
I'd just like to add...
FYI-based on the # of e-mails I've received from men looking for "a sweet and God-fearing woman", this is NOT me. I am so not god-fearing (not even sure what this means exactly!!!) and there is no 24/7 guarantee on the sweetness..i believe sweetness should be"

I don't know about you but i thought i was pretty oddly candid-i also said i was interested in-and this is important- in men 48-58, 5"11 to 6'4. And every day, i got a flirt email from "lookingformygreencard"-just kidding-"lookingfortruelove" and he was FOUR'SIX" and 70 years old from Cairo, Egypt!..pleeze! to be continued

1 comment:

  1. big ole fat gurls, were lots of pretty
    lovin jesus, and the lights of the city!
    wanted to treat me right, i was giddy
    red wine, candle light, harley sittin..
    none of them catched me eye, even 24/7
    smokey mountain girl
    im in heaven