Tuesday, December 14, 2010

wedding cookies..and really cold beer

Dear Spawn,
In my on-going and some days more frustrating than others, quest to raise a man who not a total and complete dickweed, let's talk about lessons learned TODAY,son.
UNO: THINK about the consequences your actions may have on OTHERS BEFORE you act. This is a biggie-write it down!
I can picture you, your sweet face smiling at the teacher, as you raised your hand and said, " Professora,I'm sure that I can bring 100 Mexican Wedding Cookies for Cultural Day on Wednesday."
Volunteerism is a good thing. Volunteering when some part of you knows, YOU aren't really volunteering to do anything is NOT. Before the hand went up and the mouth opened, here is the internal conversation you needed to have with yourself.
SELF-i would love to volunteer to bring the cookies, el professora is so pretty and she will be so pleased BUT then there is MOM (insert any signifcant female in your life for whom you may be volunteering). It is possible that I will forget to mention to mom that WE have volunteered to bring 100 Mexican Wedding Cookies until the morning before I have to take them. VERY probable we will not have ANY of the ingredients to make the cookies, like flour,sugar or butter. This may cause mom to have to, after a really hard day at work, go into the grocery store-which she hates! aww poor mommy..think..think! And, oddly, she may have to go on an evening when the ice storm predicted for THURSDAY will have brought out the bread and milk HORDES-which may lead mommy to cuss like a sailor inside her head and buy beer. By the time she gets home, she may look at me with that scary look, that when i was little made me afraid she was going to sell me to trolls in the middle of the night. AND SERIOUSLY, do I have any fond childhood memories when mom was BAKING? hummmmm, i think not! And it's possible, based on her mood, my annoying enthuasism and our combined lack of skill that there may be a moment when she says, "you are licking every damn bit of that damn cookie dough off the ceiling!"

And if you had had this internal conversation, when el professora called on you and said, " VICTOR (?), what can you bring(in spanish)?"
you would say, " paper plates and napkins(in spanish)" I love you, baby!

and that, sweet spawn, is thinking about the consequences of your actions may have on others BEFORE you act and i will promise you that women, pretty women like el professora and PEOPLE in general will appreciate it! no lie!
Love, Mommy


  1. So....how'd the cookies turn out? LOL

  2. I wish I cared!!! Since I have no idea what mexican wedding cookies should look or taste like... I am going to say they turned out PERFECTLY! :)