I tend to be a logical thinker, which is why, i think, i was so blindsided by confusion over pre,para,WHATEVER menapause. Seriously, what the fuck! :(
So if i understand this correctly, being a woman, given the great and supreme honor of being able to bear children, this was an honor that came with ahhhhh shall we said a downside. A little cross to bear, for being so special. Like, PERIODS!!!!! Monthly, days of pain,inconvience and psycopathic thoughts about killing those you love or total strangers because they might open their months and SPEAK to you. AND the great and supreme honor lasts for decades,people,DECADES! AND should you actually choose to reproduce, that turns out to be nine months of "what tiny part of this is even fun" with a big finish that is REALLY not fun. but that's ok cause we special...blessed! I get that!
Here is what i don't get...logically, after all that special crappy ass pain and inconvience, there should be like a reward. A, now that you're no longer preproductively useful, you get a really cool retirement, a sweet put out to pasture kind of warm buttery present. A big fanafare, you put up with this discomfort shit for 40 + years, here is your check for a billion dollars and your new car driven by your very own 25 year old naked cowboy, who had boundless sexual energy! That seems logical to me. Took one for the team..get rewarded.
But Noooooooo. It don't work that way, chica. Instead the planner in the sky, who is obviously CONFUSED about what might a nice compensation for feeling like your insides are being ripped out once a month forever, gives us DIFFERENT shit. ohhh but they mix it up a little, a nice touch, take away one or two crappy things and replace them some equally crappy things. That makes no sense to me...none.
The first time I had a night sweat, i thought, i can deal with this...so worth not having a period. I love to be warm anyway, i will fling off the covers and imagine i am lying on a beach in Costa Rica, naked! It is actually harder to fool yourself that you are having something good happen to you with the hot flashes in the day cause the truth is, you are just sitting in a meeting,red faced, burning from the inside out with a possibility of a bead of sweat rolling down your face. I never could figure out how to spin those postively. and after a while, the whole sleep deprivation thingy with the night sweats got to me and i started to hate Costa Rica! Night sweats are less like lying on a beach naked in Costa Rica and more like being a roofer on the job on a 90 + day. They suck!
So, thanks for listening to my railing against the fates about what i consider to be one of the more UNFAIR and illogical (in the little world that is my head)realitites of life.
Oh and for me...the really cool thing is I'm going to struggling with the menapause thing at the same time Spawn is struggling with puberty!!! The battle of the waning hormones against the raging hormones! stay tuned for that shit! ;)