With the new year started... I realized I could already predict at least 30 things that would happen in my life this year! Gotta love the known!
1. I will eat more Swedish Fish than any one person should.
2. I will yell and cuss in front of my washing machine while trying to unravel a bra strap from another article of clothing that it wrapped around 40 million times.
3. I will have totally unsatisfying sex at least once...never twice. ;)
4. I will look at Spawn and realize that if I do nothing else in my life...I have done one really good thing!
5. I will look at Spawn and wonder what the phuck I was thinking when I decided to have a child.
6. I will dread grocery shopping EVERY time I have to go.
7. I will daydream about Cam Newton...in a non-sexual way cause he so young and all.
8. I will secretly wish my boss would get another job AWAY from me.
9. I will spend hours marveling at how phucking stupid some people are.
10. I will envy someone else's perfect hair color.
11. I will be thankful for friends!
12. I will think about what a wonderful family I have.
13. I will wonder if I was switched at birth!
14. I will plot to destroy someone...and then never carry out my devious plans.
15. I will start exercising again...I hope...
16. I will dance alone in a room and shake my ass to totally age inappropriate rap music
17. I will not feel the urge to get another tattoo...i hope...but i will buy another belly chain!
18. I will wonder AGAIN how the girl at the tanning bed place is always in such a phucking perky mood and always remembers everyone's name.....does she have a system....do they have to take a class in that....
19. I will have satisfying sex ...I better!
20. I will start recruiting minions and wonder if frienminions is really a better made up word than frienemies
21. I will experience road rage but I won't shoot anyone cause I don't have a gun :)
22. I will wish I could win the lottery
23. I will read good books that are really BOOKS and I can hold them in my hand and turn the pages
24. I will piss someone off and probably mean to
25. I will hurt someone's feelings and probably not mean to
26. I will make someone laugh
27. I will make snarky comments in my head about people's stick figure families on the back of their cars
28. I will do something at least once everyday that makes Spawn mad and he will do the same to me and often we will catch each other mumbling choice cuss words about each other under our breath
29. I will look in the mirror and think..DAMMNNNN, I look good!
30. I will try every day to be a little bit better person than I was the day before!