Saturday, July 9, 2011

Spawn/Mommy DAY! shank, shank, SHANK!

S-"I stayed up til 1:30 texting. AND slept til 11:00"
M-" Do you want breakfast, lunch or a PARADE!"
S-"You are IMPOSSIBLE to talk to!"
M-"k"
************
S-"Smell me, Mom!"
M-"NO"
S-"seriously, smell me! I just took a shower and I smell already!"
M-"BOYS stink-i don't need to smell you to know that."
S-" But smell me! Seriously!"
M-"Seriously, NO"
************
S-"You realize you are old enough to be my grandmother."
M-"you realize you are old enough to be someone else's random child."
S-"What?"
M-"I was addicted to birth control pills for a very long time son. It's a sad story but true. I was so crazy addicted I waited until I COULD afford a child to have one! CRAZY-don't do drugs! McGruff and all that shit!"
************
M-"So I have been trying to win tickets on the radio for SummerJam-Lil Wayne, Rick Ross, Keri Hilson AND if I win them we can go together! Me and you baby!!! ( This is not true but sometimes I just want to pull his chain and it is SO easy!)
S-"YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING!"
M-"What?"
S-"I would never, NEVER go to a hip hop concert with you-EVER"
M-" so if I won the tickets to see your FAVORITE artist, you would not go?"
S-"Not with you..that is just disgusting mom!"
M-" I have been to concerts before."
S-" just DISGUSTING"
M-:)
***************
S-"If I jump up and spin and around. I can never land flat on my feet. Watch! Watch! Watch!"
***************
S-"I am so bored! SUPERLY BORED!"
M-"ME TOO! You could mow the lawn!"
S_"YOU are impossible to talk to"
*********************
S-"I need to talk to you about the shampoo in my bathroom! WAY to girly!"
M-"It's coconut?"
S-"WAY too girly!"
********************
M-" I love this song!
S-"It is SO lame! SO lame"
M-"not the part about "I just want a quickie..the part about .."
S-"Please stop talking now. I think I am going to be sick!"
***********************
S-" OMG smell me now!"
M-"NO!"
******************
The day is almost over-I don't know whether to shank myself, pinch him really hard when he isn't looking or drink alot! I am going with the drinking! :)

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