field trips and old bitches :)

So the county has a new policy about smoking on the PROPERTY-including your car in the parking lot-so my friend Beth and take field trips a couple times a day. We are old bitches and have known each other for about 20 years. They all go a little like this....
A-"Can I tell you something?"
B-"Sure it's not like I actually listen."
A-"every time i go into a convenience store,and someone walks in after me, i think about what I would do if the store was robbed, with me in there."
B-"Seriously!"
A-"Yes, seriously! I have these visions of hitting the robber with my big pink purse or throwing my water bottle across the store and knocking the robber out or just saying put the gun down MF...I realize I would just probably lay on the floor like a whimpering pussy but I like to think I would save the day!"
B-" as soon as I assessed the situation, I would slink back to the potato chip aisle, so that is where I had to "GET ON THE FLOOR" and then i would just lay there and and silently eat potato chips until the police came."
A-" Beth! There is no way you can lay in the floor and eat potato chips silently. "
B-"Did you just think about that because an Hispanic man walked in the store after you when we were at the store?"
a-"NO, i actually think about every time I go into a convenience store."
B-"Are you aware we never make racist comments?"
A-"So?"
B-" I just think it's odd."
A-"Why is that odd-we don't think that way.Honestly, I don't know that we could come up with one."
B-" I think we should. At least once a day!"
A-"Would you have sex with a republican?"
B-" oh HELL no!"
A-" I think it's the same thing, we suck at formulating racist comments because we aren't racist and we don't suck republicans because we generally perceive them to be racist or because we aren't republicans."
B-" so they are not our "race"."
A-"Exactly and we make nasty ass comments about republicans all the time."
B-"SO we are RACISTS!"
A-" YES WE ARE!"
B-" I feel so much better about myself! Do we have to listen to this rap shit!"
A-" you drive I will listen to KORN..shudder.. I drive you listen to my shit, bitch!"
B-" I think that was a sexist statement and I am tellin...."

smoke them while ya got them ;)