Saturday, February 12, 2011

arresting girl-part two

I will admit to being a bit taken aback by the chief's less than warm welcome. I had come from a place (Smokey Mountain girl!) where people are not, well, RUDE! But I moved forward. I got a uniform-let me just say-unless you got BIG boobs and a ghetto booty- a police uniform does NOTHING for your figure! Nothing! I looked as sexy in that uniform as Barney Fife did in his. Plus you had to wear big black ugly shoes...ugh! I got a CAR! SWEET-learned to use the radio,siren and drive with abandon! I got a GUN! I had never fired a gun of any kind before but i went to the range with the other officer trainees and some national guard guys who had to re-qualify?? They gave me bullet-lol- nah i got more than one-bullets and showed me where to put them. and by the end of the day I had qualified on the 38. I actually qualified third highest out of 20 so there was some head scratching going on. And some behind the scenes scheming as i found out at the end of the day. Before we left and the range instructor called us all together and asked WHOOOOO had never fired a big ass shot gun ( he didn't call it that but it WAS), I immediately raised my was the only hand raised...and every man was smiling. Well the instructor thought that even though I didn't have to qualify with it, all patrol cars could be equipped with big ass shot guns so I might want to shoot one..just to see. And 19 man heads nodded. I started to get a little uneasy but I was still giddy with my third place qualification and felt twirly and happy!
So I stood in front and all the other guys stood in a circle behind me-the instructor told me what to do..I did it and ended up on my ass in the dirt. Yeah -it was HI-LARIOUS. phuckers! I got up, dusted myself off and LEFT!
I had a month of training with a couple other new guys. For the most part the other non- trainee officers gave me wide berth and sly smiles. The training officer believed in hands-on training and kept HIS hands on me constantly to the point one of the other trainees said-maybe you should tell someone about that. I didn't -I will admit to being disappointed I didn't handle that better. When I got assigned to a shift, I told my Sargent about it and he said, let's hold on to that , shall we, we may need to use that later.
I made it through training!! got sworn in!!! AND what police force doesn't need an Officer LOVIN! I was assigned to the 3 to 11 shift-only woman on that shift-lol- just kidding, only woman ,except for dispatchers( who are the BOMB) in the whole department.
I loved my Sargent and I loved all the guys on my shift and they were good guys and made me feel part of the a little sister sort of way. But girlfriends, for a year I was part of a man,man and more man world that frankly SHOCKED me! These men, in an environment without women (except me and I quickly did not count as a woman) lived in a no rule,I am a bad-ass, adolescent, the dog ate my morals, pull my finger kind of world! Every guy on my shift was married and to a man they all had girlfriends on the side..but LOVED their wife and kids. They partied off duty like frat boys only wish they could.. as the shift mascot-lol-they all confided in me. Did alot of the patrol car driver window to patrol car driver window reverse direction talking! Except for my Sargent, they all hit on me-got re-buffed and moved on. They told me the truckers called me Officer Cupcake and made kissy noises when they saw me on the highway on their cbs. The chief never warmed up to me and made sure I got assigned to all the cat in a tree, harassing phone call, lost bike calls. My fellow shift officers fell in love with me in a awww that's my baby sis kind of way and started backing me up every time i went on a call by myself or pulled a car over..there they would be -right behind me. It kind of eroded my was like I had 8 big brothers watching over me.
At the end of a year it came time for me to go to the state law enforcement academy and i expressed some concerns to my Sargent. He said it was kind of like boot camp..and i said..REALLY and he said YES! I said..ding dang..he said..yeah i know! I said, "I think I will resign. I just don't think this job is for me. the chief hates me..I look horrible in this body clock hates working 3 to 11. AND we both know I AM NOT doing anything that resembles boot camp for 4 weeks!" He said, " I think you are very insightful and this isn't the job for you but you have tried very very hard April and that means something!" LOL -a good supervisor counsels OUT. One day after my last day-he showed up at my apartment and said "I am so glad you resigned, I ....." oh yes you guys are predictable! :)

1 comment:

  1. "Officer Cup Cake, I'm stuck up a tree, can you get me down"?