Saturday, December 10, 2011

roll one/smoke one and golf!

So late last week an e-mail went out to supervisors asking if someone could go on Saturday and pick the proceeds from a golf tournament for one of our funds that help children and families during the holidays. Since I live close to that golf course, I e-mailed that I would do it. As soon as an e-mail goes out to the other supervisors that I will do it and thanks, my office phone rings. It is my best friend at work and she says,
"Hey, nutball!!!! Have you ever been on a golf course???"

I say, "Hey squirrel girl, I will have you know I grew up on a golf course when I was a teenager and I happen to know that "greens" are excellent places to have hot.fumbley teenage sex! Plus my dad plays golf alot!"

"Well, then you are an excellent person to represent the agency at this event!"

"YES, I thought the same thing!"

"Has it occurred to you that this might cut into your Saturday beer-thirty?"

"Surely not! I just have to hop over there, accept the donation, smile and leave...easy breezy!"

"Whatcha gonna wear??"


So I call the golf pro as instructed early this afternoon and he says, it would be really great if I could come to the clubhouse as soon as the first teams finish and sort of hang out with the group until all the scores are calculated and winners announced. Huh? ok........SHIT what am I going to wear!!! So I call my friend and ask what people wear to a golf course-she said GOLF CLOTHES. I have to call the person the who sent out the e-mail and see if it is ok if I wear jeans and a sweater. She said it was so I was good to go on that part.
So I get there and GIRLS-it's kind of like a slightly twisted girl candyland! I am the only woman in the room and not the only one wearing pink!!!!! I am surrounded by men who oddly seem to be significantly younger than me or significantly older than than me and they are ALL a little loose!
A great group of men who came out on a Saturday afternoon to play golf for a good cause! Yay guys!
I sort understand golf..i appreciate the simple logic of the game but until today I didn't really understand it is the only sport I know of that is a BEER drinking sport while playing !!! How phucking excellent is that! AND I just want to say, this clubhouse has Nattie Light in a can! I didn't have one of course but spin me around and call me happy! After a couple hours I have been hit on HARD by all the old men there and learned that old men are into some damn pot smoking! What?????
OH YES, got several offers to go roll one and smoke one in their fancy ass cars. I only gave my number to one 85 year old because he was so charming and I figure he will lose it before he gets home (cause he smokes alot of pot-according to him). :)

I don't smoke pot or play golf but I respect and now celebrate others right to so! I might take lessons..really! Cause... don't I get to stand, legs apart, bend over and wiggle my ass before I hit something! PERFECT! Go golf!


  1. I just realized I starting this blog one year ago today! Happy Birthday Blog!

  2. happy birthday blog! and yes golf is a drinking game.... the turn, the 19th hole and of course every tee box!

  3. You are a serious trip! Your boyfriend is one lucky MF!