M-"Wow, something really stinks in the kitchen! Can you smell that?"
S--"Yeah, Lily pooped in the house and I didn't want to tell you, so I picked it up with paper towels and threw it in the kitchen trash can." Spawn looking at me like a bashful puppy -wanting approval. lol
M-"Spawn, if Lily poops in the house-pick it up and flush it."
Two days later...
S-"Hey Mommy(always a bad sign) I think the downstairs toilet is uh clogged up."
M-"Why? OMG there is like a roll of paper towels in there !!!! What happened!!!"
S-" Well, Mommy, Lily pooped in the house and I did what you said. I picked it up and flushed it but it won't flush."
M-"BECAUSE YOU and 47 paper towels picked up the poop.Please Spawn-pick up the poop with a Kleenex and throw it in the toilet."
S-"I am not sure I can pick up the poop without the paper towel layers. I tried the Kleenex-i could feel the warm of the poop through it-aahhhhh"
M-"Well-that my child is a great reason for condoms and you remember that-cause you know nothing about warm poop til you have a baby!"
Today I pulled out of my driveway and noticed a huge wad of paper towels hanging from my dogwood tree. Stopped the car-went back in.
m-"There are paper towels HANGING in the trees!
S-" Yeah, Lily pooped in the night and i found a perfect solution."
Since I don't like the poop heat -i will use the paper towels and throw it in woods outside!"
M-"OK well no farm team is going to come look for you cause your big throw to the woods looks more like an early Halloween rolling in our own front yard."
S-" Mommy, maybe you could clean up the poop, cause you know all the good methods and stuff"
M-"Maybe not !" :)