Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Spawn and Lily poop

M-"Wow, something really stinks in the kitchen! Can you smell that?"
S--"Yeah, Lily pooped in the house and I didn't want to tell you, so I picked it up with paper towels and threw it in the kitchen trash can." Spawn looking at me like a bashful puppy -wanting approval. lol
M-"Spawn, if Lily poops in the house-pick it up and flush it."
Two days later...
S-"Hey Mommy(always a bad sign) I think the downstairs toilet is uh clogged up."
M-"Why? OMG there is like a roll of paper towels in there !!!! What happened!!!"
S-" Well, Mommy, Lily pooped in the house and I did what you said. I picked it up and flushed it but it won't flush."
M-"BECAUSE YOU and 47 paper towels picked up the poop.Please Spawn-pick up the poop with a Kleenex and throw it in the toilet."
S-"I am not sure I can pick up the poop without the paper towel layers. I tried the Kleenex-i could feel the warm of the poop through it-aahhhhh"
M-"Well-that my child is a great reason for condoms and you remember that-cause you know nothing about warm poop til you have a baby!"
Today I pulled out of my driveway and noticed a huge wad of paper towels hanging from my dogwood tree. Stopped the car-went back in.
m-"There are paper towels HANGING in the trees!
S-" Yeah, Lily pooped in the night and i found a perfect solution."
Since I don't like the poop heat -i will use the paper towels and throw it in woods outside!"
M-"OK well no farm team is going to come look for you cause your big throw to the woods looks more like an early Halloween rolling in our own front yard."
S-" Mommy, maybe you could clean up the poop, cause you know all the good methods and stuff"
M-"Maybe not !" :)


  1. OMG!! The warmth of the poo...I can soooo relate to Will on that one. That's gotta be the grossest feeling...well, maybe not the grossest but it sure ranks high on the totem pole. You guys crack me up!!

    Jackie B

  2. Here's the deal...don't like poop? Don't have pets...or kids...lesson learned. Thank you, big-sister-san.

  3. Walmart bags -- Place hand inside bag. Grab poop with bag covered hand. Turn inside out. Tie handles. Throw in outside garbage can.