Wednesday, October 26, 2011

panties and power

So I have a beautiful and unbelievably smart friend that i am trying to help through a hard time. I am trying to help her get back her be a "I am a princess and so shall I be treated!!" powerful person. I was coaching leaps and bounds...she needed to take baby steps. I dialed it back and looked at her forlorn face and said, "We need to come up with a really shitty cuss cuss cuss name for your heartbreak man and how is your pantie drawer?"
H-"How is my pantie drawer?"
M-"yes, what does your pantie drawer look like?"
H-"APRIL! I work, I am now a single parent-i have worries about finances and I am in a state of painful confusion and you want to know about my pantie drawer?"
M-"The heartbreak man's really shitty cuss name is "phucking, phuckhead, mother-phucking stupid dickhead. Or FFMSD for short. And yes, we need to talk about your pantie drawer!"
H-"WOW that is very accurate but too complicated-could we just have his nickname be "DICK" and "DICK" for short."
M-"Absolutely! How is your pantie drawer? Is it full of old panties, granny panties, panties you don't give a shit about?"
H-" I guess."
M-" Here's the thing-when we are teenage girls we love our panties! And they have to be nice-stylish. When we are in college and dating..they have to be nice (we keep our fall back comfy panties) but we have some sexy panties. The point being panties are important and if they are nice-they make us feel good just knowing we have them on. Then we get married and have children and EVERYTHING gets attention but our panties. We wear whatever we have-no money goes to the panties until they get threadbare-then we pick up a 3 pack of Lady Hanes at Target. We have no love for those panties-they are NECESSARY panties.
H-"OMG you are so....never mind. Continue..."
M" Stupid- I know, but I am all you got right now-The lesson for this week in taking your power back is to go buy all new panties. I had some bigger things in mind like talking to a LAWYER but I think this works."
H-" I don't have to go to Victoria's Secret, do I?"
M-" Oh hell no-go in the back side of JC Penney at the mall."
H-" I know that entrance! "
M-"Pantie heaven- 6 for $12-just pretty panties. Buy enough to throw away all your old panties.
I got a pair of hello kitty boy shorts-pink-makes me happy! And that is the point-new nice panties-your pantie drawer looking so different when you open it everyday will make you smile-and that, my friend is the first step to taking your power back."
I talked to her this week and those panties have empowered her and made her feel better. Ladies, your pantie drawer wants to be all that! ;)


  1. April, you're as crazy as a shit house bug but I LOVE YOU!!! That is an awesome way to get that beautiful, awesome friend to think of something other than her sadness. And panties of all things. I was just thinking about them earlier this week when I was walking through Wal-Mart...checking out the 3pk...and then I said, "nah. Maybe something else will trip my trigger". Nothing has yet but it could happen.

    Jackie B

  2. nice panties, Jackie! try it! and I love you too!