Tuesday, May 24, 2011

math and masturbation-only one is fun :)

So on Sunday I pass Spawn's door on my way to bed and KNOCK and open the door. There is this flurry and rustle of paper under the covers and a cover to the chin move and a bit of red facedness (my word!) on both red faces!
m-"Uhh, good night."
S-"uhh, good night."
Well, that was awkward, I thought as I closed the door and went on to my room to bed.
The next morning I remember, CRAP, Spawn had all weekend to finish the last 20 questions in his EOC algebra 1 booklet and I forgot to remind him and it was due TODAY!
m-"SPAWN, you have to finish the last 20 questions in your booklet!!!"
S-" I did last night."
m-"You did???"
S-"Yes Mom-when you thought you caught me masturbating, I was working on the math but I thought i should hide it from you because I didn't want you to FREAK because I forgot til the last minute. You should have seen your face last night!!! It was priceless!!!"
m-"ha ha"
S-"Hey, want to know something I remembered after you closed my door last night."
S-"I remembered clear as a bell a conversation we had when i was five and I told you it felt good to touch my pee pee and you said "sure it does and the great thing is, it always will. Just make sure when you want that good feeling you take to your room and close the door and until you are 30 you will need to clear anyone else touching your pee pee through me. Mom rule."
m-"wow, i am sure i said just that..i just can't believe you remember it."
S-"CLEARLY. and just so you know, you will never CATCH me masturbating."
m-" OH thank goodness! careful planning is key! you are such a good kid!"
S-"and I got the math done"


  1. Oh shit, this is priceless. I love it.